Burnett Consult

A True Story

This is a story about my mother. It illustrates how your mind can affect your health. My brother was in the hospital with a respiratory infection, in a small community hospital. One night the hospital was short nurses, so they moved patients that were farthest from the nurse’s station (my brother) to rooms normally used for seriously ill patients, to save the nurses steps.

My mother, who is seventy-nine and a little hard of hearing called the hospital the next morning and wasn’t able to reach her son in his room. Calling the nurses station she asked why and was told he had been moved to the ICU room. I’m sure the nurse explained why he was moved, but all Mother heard was intensive care unit.

Calling me to take her we rushed to the hospital. I could tell on the way there that she was becoming unstrung. When we reached my brothers floor Mother ran to the room number the nurse had given her. Stopping in the doorway Mom threw her arms into the air and shouted, “Oh my god! He looks TERRIBLE!!” The turning away from the door she stood slumped against the corridor wall.

I stepped into the doorway to have a look. On one side of the room, a man, thirty years older than my brother, a foot taller, with almost no hair, teeth, or beard, occupied the bed most visible. My brother has a lot of black hair, black beard, and teeth. My brother was on the other side of the room from the elderly gentleman. I was stunned; to think she could believe this man was my brother that she had seen just the day before yesterday. I felt bad that she was so upset, and I was laughing at the same time.

Even after I took her into the room where she could see him for herself, she was still upset. We laughed about it after she recovered but she spent the next two days, not sleeping well, tired, and nervous. She is a worrier, and thinks the worse in any situation.

What can you do?

Worry is just about the worst form of mental activity there is - next to hate, which is deeply self-destructive. Worry is pointless. It is wasted mental energy; it also created bio-chemical reaction, which harm the body producing everything from indigestion to coronary arrest, and a multitude of things in between. Excerpts taken from” Conversations with God” by Donald Neal Walsh His book also suggests that all illness first begins in our mind, and science confirms the fact that ones mental attitude has a profound effect on our health.

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I want talk about clearing clutter, because it is a huge step you can take towards transforming your life.

We can view our home environment as a reflection of who we are, our external world mirrors our internal world, and when we start to clear our external world of things that no longer serve us, we can undergo a powerful change internally, we shift energy and create space for new things to come into our lives, things that we have been wanting and intending.

If our home is filled with clutter and unnecessary items, we will most likely feel disorganized, lacking in energy and focus. We literally won’t be able to see past the junk in our homes and, internally, we may struggle to create new perspectives or opportunities and we can feel stuck.

Have you ever tidied your home and felt much lighter, more energetic and positive as a result? Clearing out your surroundings literally clears out the cobwebs of your soul.

If you are doing a really big clear out where you are finding things that go back years or decades, be prepared for strong emotions to come up. Certain items have strong attachments to memories, which come with strong emotions, remember that as you release these emotions you will ultimately feel lighter and you may feel a weight has been lifted off your shoulder.

After you have cleared your space, go for a long walk, take a bath, celebrate and acknowledge ayourself for the clearing you have done and the space you have created. A walk or a bath will also help cleanse you and release the stuck energy that has shown up, and being in nature will ground you.

I challenge you to try the de cluttering process, and observe what happens in your life, make a list of the inspiration that shows up, or things that appear, and e mail me, let me know how it goes. Soon, when you observe the benefits, you will become a de cluttering expert!

We also have greater pece of mind when we not only create more space, but also create a place for everything that comes into our homes, we will find we have time for other activities because we are not draining our energy looking for lost items, or feeling disorganized.

If you are wondering where to start, when deciding whether or not to get rid of clutter, ask yourself these questions: Are they?

• Things that bring you pleasure
• Things that enhance your life
• Things that you regularly use or need

If they don’t fulfill these needs then bin them or donate them.

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Lucinda Basset founded the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety. She has experience with anxiety and depression, having fought a 20 year battle with depression herself. She founded the Center as a way to help others suffering from anxiety and stress related illnesses. Lucinda Bassett’s story is well known. Nevertheless, it bears reporting here since the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety would not exist were it not for her.

Ms. Basset experienced symptoms of anxiety and depression even when she was still a child, worrying about her friends and family, fearing that they could be involved in an accident, and worrying that she was suffering from some disease or illness.

Her anxiety became too much to cope with when she reached her twenties. She began to suffer from panic attacks on a daily basis, and suffered from headaches, nausea, and other anxiety related illnesses. She sought treatment from health care professionals, but found that they were unable to provide her with answers.

Ms. Bassett was watching the Today Show, when she heard a guest on the show describing the personality characteristics that make up an anxiety disorder. She immediately recognized aspects of her own personality - perfectionism, intelligence, negativity, creativity, high expectations, need to be in control, obsessive thinker. These were all descriptions she heard on TV. The more she listened, the more she realized that she was hearing herself being described in the physical symptoms and fearfulness and other psychological symptoms of anxiety.

Ms Basset began to study stress and anxiety related disorders, and developed her own stress management techniques. These techniques proved effective, and they were later implemented as part of the treatment philosophy of the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety.

It was around the time of her self-study that she met Dr Phillip Fisher, a doctor who had successfully treated others with stress and anxiety problems. Dr Fisher became the co-founder of the Midwest Center for Stress and Anxiety.

The Center was founded in 1984, and the doctors at the center recorded therapy sessions and treatments to find the ones that were the most effective. They discovered that repetition and reinforcement was one of the most effective techniques, and it is now one of their main therapy techniques, used to help sufferers of anxiety and stress related problems to re-train their thinking and lead a happier, healthier and more positive life, free of their anxiety.

Avoid stress and diet related illnesses in your family by finding out how stress management helps illness. Sign up for our FREE newsletter and make stress and health management a priority in your family.

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Stressed out and wondering why? Perhaps, it’s the anger against your colleagues that you’ve been building up for so long. Anger leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to stress; the combination is bad for you and may result in various mental and physical problems. Stress and anger are the perennial evil twins and if you don’t take action against both, not only you, but your loved ones will also end up suffering.

If you have experienced any combination of the symptoms listed below, it’s time to take immediate steps to rectifying your daily routine and managing your stress and anger. When your reactions are constantly negative in stressful situations, it means you have an anger management problem.

• Consistent headaches at the back of your forehead and in an arched “band” from ear to ear
• Insomnia
• Feelings of unexplained frustration
• Focusing difficulties
• Isolation
• Stomach problems and ulcers
• High blood pressure and panic or anxiety attacks
• Temporary verbal abuse hurled against other people
• Violence - breaking or destroying personal items, lashing out with arms or legs etc

Here are some excellent stress reducer tools for you to consider.Physical activity: this is probably the last on your mind after a long grueling day of butting-heads in office. But, the truth is, exercise helps to increase your blood flow to the brain and heart, boosts your energy, and revives you. You can simply take a brisk walk along the road or sprint a little. Some basic stretching exercises would also help. Special exercises to reduce stress can be followed if you feel the stress levels are just too high for normal treatment.

Meditate: you don’t need to meditate like a monk, because meditating is not just about trying to be enlightened. Meditation is about relaxing and calming your mind, so even if you sit in a quite area at home, put on some soothing music, close your eyes and enjoy the serenity, you are meditating. Meditation is among the best stress reducer tools you can learn to use.

Write: when you stressed out, write down why you feel so. Writing things down will help you to get a breakdown of everything you are feeling at the moment and reading it back to yourself, you’ll realize the reasons and be able to think about it all in a more practical way.

Eat Healthy: stress can be aggravated by poor eating habits. If you are the type of person who drops in at the supermarket to pick up an instant meal, take a good look at the food labels on them. Majority contain high sodium, fat and sugar levels. These foods are the worst you can feed your already energy-starved body and will do nothing to help your stress levels reduce.

Say No: as a human being, there’s only so much you can take and do within a specific time period. So, if you believe you’ve reached your limit, accept it and say no to anything extra.

If ordinary stress reducer tools do not seem to help and are gaining no results, seek professional help.

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Stress accompanies us in all walks of life, today. Life has become more dynamic and unpredictable in today’s world as compared to the past. To cope up with the never ending changes is a big deal for many. Remember stress is a silent killer, the earlier you recognize it, the better.

However, on the positive side it is said that a certain level of stress can be helpful in pushing us into action. Different people feel stressed about different things, it’s the way we perceive things and respond to, that makes all the difference. It is thus necessary to identify and control your responses to stress and develop adequate skills to deal with it. Identifiable stress symptoms can include physical, mental, and social expressions like depression, headaches, insomnia or oversleeping, loss or increased appetite, tiredness and exhaustion, taking recourse to compulsive behavior or escape routes like drugs, alcohol etc. You will also find some behavioral changes like indecisiveness, poor judgment, lack of concentration, irritability, or loss of sense of humor.

It is often difficult to handle stress on your own, it is always advisable to take a second help from someone who is eligible to handle your stress levels and help you to master techniques to resolve the situation. You need someone to talk to- a confidante. Many organizations have made their presence online, so you can seek help by speaking to your online counselors about your stressful situation and they will discuss with you, in full confidence to allay your fears. Through these discussions they help people in distress to get their lives together, reduce stress and learn techniques to handle stress, so that they remain free of negative stress in future.

These online counselors give you a supportive and caring environment so that you feel at ease to discuss your problems, concerns and fears. You just need to talk and purge yourself of the pent up feelings. . These therapeutic talk sessions are only meant to provide you with “someone to listen.” there is no medicine or medical prescription involved.

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Stress is the result of the physical and emotional effects that continuous change has on our bodies and minds. Although stress can have positive influence on behavior, such as urging a person to quick action or offering a fresh perspective on problems, it does more harm than good. Stress can arouse emotions of anger, mistrust, rejection and depression and physical symptoms of rashes, migraines, indigestion and ulcers. More serious consequences of stress include cardiac problems, strokes and hypertension.

While it is true that stress is an inherent part of human life, it is not true that we have to live with the problem. Since it is usually change of some sort that brings about stress, adjusting comfortably to new situations can help combat stress and its unpleasant effects. We’re not trying to eliminate stress; we do need that kind of pressure and excitement to meet deadlines, compete and achieve high levels of performance. Without a certain amount of pressure, we would be bored and de-motivated. What we need to do is channelize stress, manage it, so that urges us on without breaking us down!

Here are some simple stress reduction exercises:

Firstly, assess the stress you face and your reactions to it. Find out how you can change what’s bothering and deal with the root problem. If you can’t change things, don’t let yourself become frustrated with your inability: work around the problem or learn how to cope with it calmly.

Learn to say “no” when you don’t really want to do something - it saves trouble in the end; and learn how and when to relax. Make sure you get enough time to just be yourself. Try to do things you really enjoy.

There are also some stress reducer tools that you can apply to manage stress. For one, reduce your reaction - take a moderate, more positive view and you’ll find stress easier to manage. Use breathing as a calming technique - slow, deep inhalation and exhalation will reduce tension and help you gain control over your reactions.

Make sure your physical reserves of energy are well-stocked up. Regular exercise, a healthy weight, good nutrition habits and adequate leisure time are all conducive to battling stress. You’ll find yourself less susceptible if your life is healthy and happy! Try to avoid nicotine and alcohol, too - they are temporary stress-easers, but will not help you in the long run.

And as far as emotional reserves are concerned, make sure you have lots of good friends and supportive family relationships. Don’t get bogged down by setbacks and failure - they’re just part of life - so be realistic. And don’t forget to be nice to yourself!

Some prescription medications can help reduce stress, but you should not get dependent on them. It is better to rely on simple, non-chemical methods. More formal stress reducer tools include exercise, meditation, conflict resolution, autogenic training, relaxation techniques, time management and cognitive therapy. Listening to music can be very effective, laughter eases stress like nothing else can; and sex is a great way to unwind, too!

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Stress can come from a lot of different outside influences - people can experience stress because of their job, social pressures, money, or ill health. Prolonged stress can have a negative impact on your overall health and wellbeing, and even in the short term, stress can make people feel tense and irritable.

One of the first steps towards combating stress is to realize that there is a problem, and take steps to eliminate the cause of the stress. You can also reduce your feelings of stress through stress relief aids such as Chinese Stress Balls.

What Are Chinese Stress Balls?

Chinese stress balls have numerous health benefits. They are used for stress relief, to improve balance and coordination, prevent arthritis and rheumatism, stimulate blood circulation, and help during physical therapy. There are many effective ways of dealing with stress, but one of the best available these days involves the use of Chinese stress balls

Chinese stress balls come in a variety of styles and colors, and different sizes too. You do not need to have anything fancy to get the benefits of using Chinese Stress Balls, but if you prefer to have something more unique or personalized then the option is there.

More Stress Relief Ideas

While Chinese Stress Balls can be quite effective at providing short term stress relief, you should consider other treatment if you have a long term stress problem, or find that the stress balls are not working for you after frequent usage.

In cases of serious, prolonged stress, medication is often prescribed. While medication should not be the first option, it can be effective in dealing with stress in cases where it cannot easily be managed through other means. Quite often, Xanax, a form of anti-anxiety medication in the benzodiazepines group, is used as a stress relief medicine.

Another drug often used to treat stress conditions is Valium. It works by affecting chemicals in the brain that become unbalanced. This imbalance may lead to stress, anxiety, seizures, and muscle spasms. Be sure to consult with your physician before you begin taking this drug. Important information to share with your physician would be whether you have kidney or liver disease, are pregnant or nursing, or if you have narrow-angle glaucoma.

Stress can be a serious problem if it is ignored for a long period of time. Small amounts of stress, during life-changing events, or when you are working to a tight deadline, are perfectly normal, but if you find yourself constantly feeling stress in day to day life, then you should attempt to reduce or alleviate it - either through natural means, or with the aid of a doctor.

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One of the best stress management tips is living your life purpose. As a stress management way of living it has to be at the top of the list.The idea of an ideal kept before the mind as a reason for living certainly has something magnetic about it. We are all here for a purpose and to accomplish a certain thing. I have heard the term “I am on a mission” used a few times. Have you ever met someone like that? These kinds of people are driven and know where they are going. I hope that before you finish this article you will have, if not already a life purpose, at least think about what your life purpose could be.

It brings you many stress management advantages to have a life purpose. One that is so obvious it is often overlooked is that you are going in the direction you want to go. Not a direction or goal someone else has for you. It is true that if you don’t have a purpose for being here the you are still living a life of purpose. It is just a purpose that belongs to somebody else. An agenda or goal you may not agree on. So its always better to have your own purpose and life mission.

Everyone is different. For some a life purpose could be having a great family. For others it could be having great relationships. A successful career for someone else. Writing a number one bestselling book for another. It differs.One thing is for sure. A life purpose keeps your energy focused and clear. It has other advantages, listed as follows.

Another stress management advantage to living a life of purpose is that there seems to be more ‘flow’ and less stress in your life. People and resources just seem to be there when you need them. I’ll give you an example. You want some work done and you need a person with a certain skill but you currently don’t know anyone. Somewhere and somehow this person pops into your life. He has all the skills you need for the job to help you accomplish your task. You are living a life of purpose and many favorable conditions, associations ,and events come your way. Life is not so much struggle but more of a positive flow.

The amount of stress we experience and the degree of our problem solving ability are closely related. Life is full of problems. Some we solve with greater ease than others. The better you get at solving problems the better life gets. Living your purpose helps you tap into your intuition. This is a big help in problem solving. Sometimes logical left brain thinking is needed to fix a problem. Sometimes creative right brain thinking is needed. Intuitive insight is what you require sometimes to solve a major problem. Living life with a purpose gets you more in touch with your intuition.

A super stress management tool is to have your own life purpose. My experience has been that it allows you to enjoy better relationships, a more successful and creative career, and better conditions in society as the method of working is one of contribution and adding value. It is my wish that you enjoy the same.

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When we practice forgiveness and gratitude, we are inviting good things to happen in our life. Forgiveness clears the path for good things to happen, and gratitude attracts those good things.

The Creator inside of us responds extremely well to forgiveness. We are all creators. When we are embroiled with judgments inside of ourselves, it is hard to create positively. When we take part in forgiveness, we are much freer to create positively.

The Creator of us all responds most generously to gratitude. The person who expresses gratitude is saying, “Here I am God, shower me with blessings.”

We as people personally respond well to forgiveness and gratitude. When I focus on these things, it makes me a happier, more energetic person. It aligns me to a higher source.

Practicing Forgiveness

To practice forgiveness, say, “I forgive myself for judging myself for judging ________.” For example, I forgive myself for judging myself for judging:

• my spouse

• my boss

• my expression

• my job

• my parents

• my inability to do exercise

You are not forgiving your inability to do exercise, you are forgiving that you judge yourself for being unable to do exercise.

The distinction is important. What blocks our energy is the judgment of things. So we forgive ourselves when we engage in judgment. If you perceived that you were unable to do exercise, but did not judge that, no forgiveness would be necessary.

Career Related Forgiveness

When we hold judgments in our consciousness in regards to past jobs, this can hold us back career-wise. Look back at any previous jobs you may have held. Do you still hold judgments about any former bosses, co-workers, the work environment, your salary, or how you were treated at a particular job? Forgive it all, and this means forgiving yourself for your judgments in regards to these things.

It doesn’t matter if you still take exception to these people or what happened. Forgiveness is for the benefit of your consciousness. These people did the best they knew how to do. It is time to move on.

Work can be a disturbing place inhabited by people and situations that we don’t like. By practicing forgiveness and gratitude you will be able to attract more of the type of people and situations that you want in your life.

Unemployed and Filled with Resentment

At the time that I began doing ‘Career Related Forgiveness’ as found in ‘The Little Career Bible’ I was hardly in a mood to be magnanimous. I hadn’t worked in quite a while and was filled with negativity, self-pity and resentment. Nevertheless, I was desperate to change and I made a list of everyone in my career that I had judged and needed to forgive. Every day I practiced consciously forgiving all of the people I had judged as well as forgiving myself for judging myself and others.

Shortly after I began doing my ‘Forgiveness’ work (and I believe as a result of this work) a wonderful, lucrative screenwriting opportunity came my way out of the blue. The only problem seemed to be that two of the principal players (the producer and the director) were people I had had very unpleasant dealings with in the past and held deep resentments against. They also happened to be on the top of my list of people I had judged and needed to forgive, and coincidentally, I had been working on forgiving them.

I had been employed by and with both of these individuals on various projects throughout the years and felt that they invariably said and did things to me that I found invalidating, disrespectful and harmful to my career.

In order for this project to be ‘greenlit’ I had to spend a good deal of time working with the producer and director to develop a story and then pitch it to studio executives. When I faced the prospect of working with them on this project, instead of feeling joy and gratitude for the opportunity to make excellent money doing what I love to do, I was filled with suspicion, resentment, anxiety and fear.

I must point out that the last thing in the world I wanted to do was to extend anything remotely positive to any of the people on my list, but my way of dealing with the situations obviously hadn’t worked and I was willing to try anything, no matter how ridiculous it seemed. And indeed, I was already in the midst of the healing process.

What resulted was nothing short of miraculous. In practically no time, due to the ‘Forgiveness’ work, my negative feelings toward these people disappeared. I found myself working happily and productively with my partners who now seemed to have undergone a phenomenal change themselves. Both had become so much more gentle, friendly and supportive. Our pitch was superb and we were hired. My creative energy increased enormously and I was stunned and delighted to be experiencing, the most gratifying and joyful work situation of my life, by far. (J.P. of California)

When Forgiveness Seems Impossible

For some, forgiveness may seem too difficult, too out of reach. You may be thinking to yourself, “I can’t do it.” Spirit, in its endless creativity, however, always seems to provide us with numerous ways to resolve our difficulties.

John Morton (in The Blessings Already Are) advises, under these circumstances, to call forward God or to that part of God that can forgive, and ask this Holy One to do the forgiveness for us:

“If you do not know how to forgive and forget, you can call forward the One whose nature it is to forgive all, to love all, the One who is anointed in this purpose of God, by God. It is at your service.”

“It can forgive what you do not know how to forgive, love what you do not know how to love, and take away the anguish that has visited our minds and emotions, the places in your body where you’ve harbored the resentment, the disappointment, the guilt.”

“All forms of negativity are now loved and forgiven by this Holy One.”

Where Has All the Gratitude Gone?

Modern life seems to provide countless distractions away from a focus of gratitude. There is a tendency to want to work faster, be more productive, look better, have whiter teeth, have larger biceps, buy and own numerous things. This busyness devoted towards activities that do not necessarily support our essence runs our everyday life. In this buzz of busyness, gratitude tends to be overwhelmed and forgotten.

Sometimes our lives become so stressed that when we get home we want to do as little activity as possible. This lifestyle may include lots of television, food, particularly fattening foods and very little movement or exercise. By its very lethargy, this lifestyle also does not promote gratitude.

Not that being busy or watching television is in anyway wrong. It’s more a question of balance. We can lose our appreciation for life in the over involvement with such things.

Feeling More Grateful

To feel more grateful, do things in your life that fulfill your essence. Some of these activities might include: volunteering, exercising, creating, meditating, spending quality time with children or animals and listening to music. Personally, when I write, I almost always feel grateful.

To feel more grateful, do things that energize you and inspire your enthusiasm. For me, some of these things include playing basketball, going to the movies and snuggling on my bed with my dogs.

Another approach is by deeper seeing. Everything in our life is designed for our upliftment, learning and growth. It is in the tough times in particular that we are provided with an opportunity to learn and grow. And as tough as life may become, we are never given anything we can not truly handle. By deeper seeing, what is meant is looking for the blessings that already are and that exist in every situation.

Gratitude is right thinking. God showers us all with blessings. Even behind every painful experience there is a lesson that provides us with the opportunity to get closer to God. When we start living in the attitude of gratitude, we in a sense have arrived.

Putting Gratitude into Words

A simple approach is to start saying statements of gratitude. Find things that you are grateful for in your life and start declaring your gratitude. This may include certain relationships, possessions, your job, your money, your gifts and talents, etc. Just declare, for example, “I am grateful for my creativity.” “I am grateful for my parents.” “I am grateful to have money in the bank.”

If you don’t feel much enthusiasm for such statements, that’s okay. You have to start somewhere. As you repeat statements of gratitude, the gratitude will start registering more deeply in your consciousness.

An effective assignment is to say at least one statement of gratitude per day for the next 32 days. After 32 consecutive days, this repeated behavior will start to become ingrained as a habit. Your subconscious will become more comfortable with looking for and expressing gratitude.

When you start looking for the gratitude, you will find it.

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Nightmares - the kind that wake us with our heart beating wildly and our whole body tensed and ready to do battle with the baddies or run away - are often experienced as very frightening and worrisome.

Many want to forget their bad dreams as soon as possible. They don’t realize these could be missed opportunities for enrichment in their lives. Analyzing dreams is a potent method not only for managing stress but for our personal development.

We may ask ourselves:

Did I see or hear something bad that is coming back to haunt me?

Is my dream warning me about someone who is out to get me?

Did I eat something spoiled for dinner?

Or could there be something more that I am not getting here?

The truth is, any or all of these and many more possibilities may be true. Dreams are imagery and storyline salads that our deeper self puts up on the screen of our awareness during the night. When we sleep, our conscious mind is resting. This allows our unconscious mind the space to chew on and digest whatever issues we have swallowed but have not yet sorted out during the day.

The ingredients in this salad may include

- Residues of experiences from the day

- Memory associations with those experiences that are sitting in the same file drawer of brain

- Feelings similar to those experiences

- resonating like taut guitar strings to a similar note from recent events

- Sounds our unconscious mind notes while we sleep

- Worries and fears about the future

There are countless books for interpreting dreams. These may give us some general ideas about our own nightmares, but only we ourselves can say what our particular dreams mean. This is because we have concocted this imagery salad out of the unique ingredients of our individual, personal lives.

Example

From ‘Kate,’ a 35 year-old, single parent MBA:

“I once woke in a sweat, having dreamed I was driving a car with a steering wheel I could no longer turn.”

The first step in befriending our nightmares is to write down every detail and nuance we can recall, omitting no pixel of pictures, no nuance of feeling, or soundbyte of words, or intonations exchanged by the characters on that inner stage.

“As I started to write, more details emerged. Not only was I approaching a curve, but there was a big truck approaching in the opposite lane. I kept fighting the wheel that wouldn’t turn, terrified as my car crossed the yellow line just in front of the truck. I wanted to scream but no words would come out of my mouth. I woke just before impact.”

Next, we can scan our memories for what might have been a leftover from recent days’ experiences that was dropped into the salad.

“I felt I was being driven by my financial needs to continue on a career path that I was unhappy to pursue. The atmosphere at the factory was terrible because I was being asked to do jobs that weren’t mine, due to several recent staff resignations. I was forced to stay late, compromising my duties as a mom to two young girls. I was having a hard time finding another job I wanted, and worried I could not hold up (might crash) under the stresses.”

Examining patterns from the past that might be similar, Kate realized:

“My father was forced into bankruptcy, due to a poor choice in business partners, when I was in my late teens. This severely disrupted our family and delayed my plans for going to university until I could pay my own way. I felt totally out of control when this happened.”

Sorting out the meanings of the dream, one can explore alternatives that one might have overlooked in the dream and why these blind spots might exist.

“I came to see I had struggled with the steering wheel but never thought of stepping on the brakes. The dream actually helped me understand that when stressed, I often felt panicky and out of control - when actually there often were choices I could make that would be under my control.”

The nightmare can then suggest new ways we might approach our life situations.

“I came to see that I could take a stand for myself and put on the brakes at work. I was lucky that the division manager was an understanding single mom herself and she supported me when I requested shifts in my duties.”

Kate also found ways she could deal with the heavy feelings of hurt, anger and resentment she carried from her father’s bankruptcy.

In short, if we don’t run away from our nightmares or push them back into the fog of unknowing in our unconscious mind, they can be a rich feast for understanding ourselves better and for discovering creative ways to improve our lives.

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